8:30 AM Wake up. Hear people moving around. Go back to sleep.
9:00 AM Hear kibble hit food bowl. Think hard. Worth it? Need to pee. No rush.
9:15 AM Crawl out from bed under armchair. Inspect food bowl. Plain kibble? Walk away. Garnished with bits of cheese rind or a dab of gravy? Eat food to reward people. At least they’re trying.
9:20 AM Accept petting and scratching.
9:25 AM First squirrel patrol. Potty time. Raining again.
9:30 AM Time for walk. Nudge woman with nose.
9:31-10:06 AM Nudge. Nudge. Nudge. Takes patience and persistence. It's for her own good.
10:07 AM OMG! Woman is putting on shoes! OMG! OMG!
10:10 AM WTF? Woman is turning on computer. Stare at her with deep disappointment. Bad woman, bad bad. Nudge her with nose. Nudge again. Put front paws on her knees to demonstrate urgency.
10:25 AM OMG! Woman is putting on jacket! Woman has plastic bag! Woman has THE BALL!
10:27 AM Phone rings. Woman answers. Show woman extent of despair by racing in tight circles.
10:35 AM Woman FINALLY hangs up phone. Walks to hall closet! Takes out THE LEASH!
10:36 AM Begin Happy Dance. Leap and frolic. Chew on leash. Yip and prance. Race about. Woman says, “Sit! Stay! Hold still, dammit!” Continue Happy Dance.
10:40 AM Pause. Leash is ON.
10:41-11:30 AM Exercise the woman: walking for her lower body, throwing ball for upper body. Exhausting to keep retrieving ball, but necessary for her health. As usual, she quits too soon. Come home.
11:32 AM Nap. Life is good.
It's hard work to be a responsible dog.